Monday, March 8, 2010

A look in the mirror...


Im like so overdue with this blog... but I just havnt been focused on writing as much as should have been. I recently decided that Starting April 7th, I will be taking 30 days off of EVERYTHING...the only exclusion is work, and my family. I need this time to grow, to learn myself, and to self-reflect on my life. Right now im being pulled in all kind of directions. Work, fixing computers, fixing my cars, going out wit the boys, Etc... Ive been handling this way-of-life for years now, and while I can still handle it, I feel like im not making progress in life. So I think self-evaluation is needed. Anyway people, on the to reason of this blog...I could be doing a lot worse in life, but I could be doing a lot better too. I think my life is one big circle when it comes to women. I meet a woman, talk to her, date her, etc... Then something happens which is usually not my fault, and they are gone. I know im not perfect, but I try my best to be a MAN to these women, not a little boy. I think people expect a guy to fail, partly because of the over-population of LAME ASS men in this country. I cant even meet a woman without being grilled about random shit that the last "man" they talked to did...since when am I the bad guy? Anyone who knows me knows I will cut someone's ass off in a heartbeat, and wont think twice about it. Then my mom is like "What happened to so-and-so? she was a nice girl" Yeah right mama...if you only knew... Ive dealt with it all, cheaters, liars, baby-daddy drama, broke-asses, gold-diggers, dumb (like do-do dumbs), alcoholics, weed-heads, undercover bi-sexual women, and more...and before you start thinking: "Its where you looking" or "Its the type of women you meeting" Thats bullshit. I have met teachers, business owners, people in school, people who are professionals, etc. Its not a "who you meet" thing, its a "what lies beneath" thing. People always appear to be cool when you first meet them, but its what lies beneath that gets you everytime. Speaking from experiance, I can tell you that no matter how much time you live with, be around, stay the night with, talk to, text, email, call, write, blog, facebook, tweet, or whatever, you will ONLY know what a person WANTS you to know...PERIOD. I mean come on people, there are people who are married 20+ years, then all of a sudden BAM!!!, their husband has another lover, who aint a woman...You think that just started happening? hell no. That man been seeing other men, he either got sloppy and got caught, or he just didnt care anymore. But the point is that he didnt want his wife to know, and she matter how many years they laid in the bed together. I have found this out the hard way sadly... I dont blame women fully though, I blame myself by being blinded by other things such as looks and other simple shit. But the whole point is that im honestly tired of meeting people who dont try to do better, so many people I meet are content with their so-called life, like thats the way they wanna be 20 years from now. Time has flew by in my life, and I regret im just now realizing all this, when I knew it all along. I honestly blame society and these poor excuses for parents for raising their children the way that they do. If we stopped raising these boys to become sorry ass men, then there would be less lame ass men to hurt good women. I can seriously count on one hand the amount of good women I have really met. A lot of these women I talk about in my blogs probably were good at some point in time, but its been proven that women are WAY more emotional than men, and for that reason they cant take a mental beating like a man can and shake it off and keep moving. Now of course there are exceptions to these rules. Clearly we all know some men who are emotional like women, and we know some women who are cold like men. I feel sorry for those women who have been mentally scarred by these lames, cause what happens is that you women put up that "wall". That "wall" is where you are constantly on the defensive, always looking for something to be wrong, always making accusations, always worried about being "played". All that is what is causing you to be miserable. Yeah you can throw on a sexy outfit, go out and meet some guy, or get a lot of guys attention. But thats not what you really want. What you want is to be adored, appreciated, and respected. But all is not lost, there are still good men and women left, now while I still believe that I have better odds of winning the powerball than meeting a women who isn't in "Defend" mode, I believe it could happen. Ladies realize that every man is not a lame, there are actually some men that do care about you, and dont wanna get hurt. I've been done wrong more than I care to write about. There are and always will be a few special people in my true friends I can sadly count on both hands. Everybody else, well...they aren'tt exactly what I would call "friends". The ones (male and female) who REALLY know me, know my ways of thinking, and understand my logic and know why I write the shit I do. I just base what I write on real life experiences, either with me or what I see other people go through. Im not a writer, im not paid to write, there are just so many people who I cant reach through spoken word, so they need to see it and read and absorb it themselves. I hope this blog makes a difference in someone's life...cause I know some people who need change, including myself...and this is my start...Dueces

1 comment:

  1. I've been waiting a while to see what would come next after that last one. All I can say is VERY WELL WRITTEN. I loved it. I thought it was honest and open. You're very right with the points that you make. We should all be striving to be a better person tomorrow than we are today. Change is inevitable and some of us can't roll with it as well as others. I hope that you continue to grow.
    Peace and love.